The Suckiness Saga: Suckémon
by Jumi
Summary: A hot 16-year-old chick begins her Pokémon journey with a chance meeting with Ash Ketchum and friends. It's really too bad that she sucks.


The Suckiness Saga:  
Suckémon 

Chapter 1: A Journey Begun 

Claire Richards strolled along the road home slowly and absent-mindedly as she carried the groceries she had just bought for her mother. Her mother didn't need her back until seven, and it was only 5:15. She sighed and walked on. 

"I'm so bored," she said to herself. "There's nothing to do in this town." 

As she walked past a field, she heard some voices nearby, and decided to go check it out. Making her way through the trees and tall grass, she happened upon two boys and two Pokémon having a Pokémon battle, and a couple of observers looking on. Claire stood next to one of the trees and watched. 

"Cubone, attack with your Bone Club!" one of the boys shouted as his Cubone rushed at its attacker, a Pikachu. 

The other boy turned his cap around as the Cubone rushed forward. "Pikachu, attack with your Thundershock!" 

The Pikachu screamed "Chuuuu!" as it followed its master's order, and the Cubone fell to the ground. The Thundershock was clearly more than it could handle. 

"Cubone, return!" the first boy shouted as he called his wounded Pokémon back. With a look of regret in his eyes, he turned to his opponent. 

"Good match," he said as he extended his hand. "My name's Roger Owens. I didn't know an electric type could knock out a ground type with an electric attack." 

"My name's Ash Ketchum," the other boy said as he shook Roger's hand. "I usually don't worry too much about types. I try to use all of my Pokémon equally and make them all stronger. That way, they're never at a disadvantage." 

"Well, that's certainly a better strategy than just using Pikachu all of the time," a girl who was travelling with Ash and holding what appeared to be a half-hatched Pokémon egg said, before turning to Roger. "My name's Misty, and this is Togepi." She gestured to the small creature in her arms. 

"TogePRRRIII!!!" it cooed as it waved it's little arms around. 

"And I'm Brock," another of Ash's friends said. 

"It's very nice to meet all of you," Roger said. "I guess my Cubone just needs some more experience." 

"Hmmm," Claire said to herself as she looked on. "That guy doesn't seem that tough, and neither does that little Pikachu. And he said all of his Pokémon are about equal, so I bet I could take him." She brushed her short black hair out of her eyes before stepping out from behind the tree. 

"You don't look so tough, Ash Ketchum," she announced. "I bet I could take you." 

"Awww, shut up, Claire," Roger said before Ash could respond. "Everyone knows you suck at Pokémon battling." 

"Shut up, Roger," Claire replied. "No one asked you, and besides, I couldn't lose any worse than you just did." 

"Hello, miss!" Brock said as he rushed up to Claire. "My name's Brock and I'm new around here, and I was wondering if maybe you could show me around..." 

"Cut it out, lover-boy!" Misty said as she grabbed Brock by the ear and dragged him away. 

"Whatever," Claire said. "Anyway, how about my challenge, Ash?" 

"You're on!" Ash said emphatically, never one to turn down a challenge. He produced a Pokéball from behind his back, leaving Claire to wonder why he didn't call his Pikachu back into it's Pokéball. 

"Bulbasaur, I choose you!" Ash said as he hurled the Pokéball and produced a hearty-looking Bulbasaur. 

"Saur!" it said simply as it assumed a battle stance. 

"Hm... a good choice," Claire said as she drew her own Pokéball and threw it. "Go, Pidgey!" she shouted as a Pidgey flew out and circled around in the air once before flying back to the makeshift "ring" the competitors were using. 

"Come on, Claire," Roger jeered from the sidelines. "This is just sad. Why are you wasting this poor guy's time?" 

"Pidgey, Gust attack!" Claire shouted. Her Pidgey responded by flapping its wings and sending swirls of dust Roger's way. 

"Fine, suit yourself, Claire," Roger said between coughs as he tried to get away from the dust. "I'll be the first to say I told you so when he trashes that pitiful Pidgey of yours!" 

"What do you know, you little brat?" Claire said as she sized up Ash's Bulbasaur. "You're just a little ten-year-old." 

"Hey, I'm a ten-year-old too!" Ash said as he gritted his teeth. 

"Yeah," Claire said as she prepared to battle. "But you've obviously got more sense than Roger. That goes without saying for almost anyone." 

Roger grimaced as he stared at Claire angrily, sure in his assumption that she sucked and was going to lose to Ash, and quite badly. Finally he smiled and waited for Ash's moment of triumph, in which he would share. 

"Bulbasaur, use your Vine Whip attack!" Ash shouted to Bulbasaur, who responded with a "Bulba!" as it slapped at Claire's Pidgey with its vines. 

"Pidgey, dodge its vines and hit it with your Quick Attack!" Claire shouted to her Pidgey, which had evaded Bulbasaur's vines quite nicely. It charged at Bulbasaur and flew right by it, hitting it with its beak. Bulbasaur tumbled backward but remained standing. 

"Bulbasaur, clip Pidgey's wings with Razor Leaf!" Ash commanded. Bulbasaur obeyed and Pidgey fell with a squawk before readying itself for another attack. 

"Pidgey, Gust attack!" Claire ordered as Pidgey flew into the air and flapped it's small wings rapidly. 

"Bulbasaur, Leech Seed!" Ash shouted. Bulbasaur stopped and stood against the onslaught of wind as it shot a small seed at Pidgey, which quickly wrapped it in vines as it fell to the ground. 

"Pidgey! No!" Claire said as she stepped forward. "Break out of it!" 

"Pidgey!" Pidgey cried as it struggled before eventually breaking the vines that had entangled it. 

"Bulbasaur, use your Solar Beam!" Ash commanded. Bulbasaur stopped and began mumbling to itself. "Bulba, bulba, bulba, bulba..." 

"No, Pidgey! Get out of the way!" Claire yelled as Pidgey started to fly away. 

"Bulba! Bulba! Bulba! BULBA! BULBASAUR!!!" Bulbasaur shouted as a beam of bluish light shot from the bulb on its back and struck the flying Pidgey who could not evade fast enough. Pidgey fell to the ground unconscious as smoke wafted off of it. 

"Pidgey!" Claire cried. "Return." She called Pidgey back to its Pokéball. 

"Do you have anymore Pokémon?" Ash asked. 

"No," Claire said, slightly discouraged by her loss. "Pidgey's my only one." 

"Oh," Ash said as he called his Bulbasaur back into its Pokéball. "I guess I win, then." 

"See, Claire?" Roger said with a smirk as he put on his red jacket and cap. "You should have listened to me. I'm not one to say I told you so, but... I told you so." 

"Shut up, Roger," Claire said simply. "I don't feel like listening to your mouth." 

"Well, nice match." Ash said. His competitive nature was usually over with the match, at least when he won, and this time was no exception, though it was replaced by hunger. "Ack, I just remembered, I haven't eaten all day!" 

"Ash, you just ate three hours ago!" Misty said. 

"Oh, yeah," Ash said as he scratched the back of his head. "Well, it seems like I haven't eaten all day. Battling always works up my appetite." 

"Everything works up Ash's appetite," Brock said, to no one in particular. 

Looking at his watch, Roger jumped back. "Argh, I was supposed to be home 25 minutes ago! My mom's gonna kill me!" 

"Then you'd better get going, Roger," Claire said. "See you around, if I'm that unlucky." 

"Yeah," Roger smirked as he tossed his backpack over his shoulder and started off down the road toward town. "And I'll see you if you manage to watch where you're going and stay out of potholes in the road!" With that, Roger took off full speed back to town. 

"Potholes? What was he talking about?" Misty asked. 

"Oh, everyone in town's been teasing me about that." Claire said. "I was walking home last week and I fell in a hole in the road. I was watching where I was going, but the hole was covered over with grass and sticks and stuff. I had to wait nearly a half hour while my Pidgey went to find someone to help me. It was so humiliating." 

"Believe me," Ash said nonchalantly. "It happens to us more than you would expect." 

"What kind of idiot digs a hole right in the middle of the road?" Claire asked with a frown. 

"In our case, it's usually three idiots," Misty said. 

"Hm, I better get going," Claire said as she glanced at her watch. "I have to get this stuff home by seven. You guys are welcome to come with me. My mom is probably cooking dinner." 

"Dinner?!" Ash licked his lips excitedly. "You bet!" His Pikachu replied with a "Chu!" as it climbed up onto his shoulder. 

"And since we're going in the same direction," Brock said as he tried to sound gentlemanly, "I will gladly offer to carry those groceries for you." 

"Be my guest," Claire said as she handed the groceries over to Brock. She had never been one to refuse such kindness, especially in one so eager, though she hoped she wouldn't have to let him down with the truth, that he was too young for her and that she wasn't interested in him. 

The walk back to Claire's house was uneventful, as Claire, Ash, Misty, and Brock all managed to stay out of any holes in the road. It was already dark by the time they got to Claire's house, and Claire was a bit late. 

"Sorry I'm late, mom," Claire said as she walked in the door, followed by Ash, Misty, and finally Brock, who was tired of carrying the groceries but was determined to endure in order to help the girl he had decided was the love of his life. 

"We didn't miss dinner, did we?" Ash asked sheepishly. 

"Oh, yeah, and by the way, mom, these three are staying for dinner," Claire said as she led Ash, Misty, and Brock into the kitchen, where her mother stood over the stove stirring something which Ash instantly and silently assessed as "tasty". Nevertheless he decided to keep his sentiments to himself, at least until he had personally sampled the food. 

"Okay, dear," Amanda, Claire's mom, said. "By the way, Mrs. Owens called. She said Roger was late, and he told her he was helping you carry home groceries." 

"Yeah, whatever," Claire said as she rolled her eyes. "More like he was late because he was having a Pokémon battle with Ash." She stopped for a minute before realizing she hadn't introduced anyone. "Oh, sorry, mom, this is Ash, Misty, and Brock," she said as she pointed everyone out. "And Brock, you can set those groceries on the table." 

Brock let out an exasperated sigh as he set the groceries on the table, relieved to be done with them. 

"I'm Mrs. Richards, Claire's mom," Amanda said. "Claire's father isn't home right now. He's a botanist and is out studying the plants various types of Pokémon like to eat, or something like that." She paused for a moment as she continued to stir some food on the stove. "And dinner is almost ready." 

"Yay!" Ash said excitedly, prompting Misty to roll her eyes. 

"Now I see where Claire gets her good looks from, Mrs. Richards," Brock stated affectionately. 

"My, aren't you the cutest little thing?" Amanda said in a very mom-like tone. 

"Knock it off already, Brock!" Misty said as she once again dragged Brock away by the ear. 

A few minutes later, Amanda announced that dinner was ready, to which Ash, along with everyone else, enthusiastically responded. 

"It's chili." Amanda said. "An old family recipe." 

"Chili!" Ash exclaimed. "My favorite!" 

"Ash," Misty began, "I thought pizza was your favorite." 

"Not when I'm eating chili," Ash replied. 

"So, Claire," Brock said, trying to strike up a conversation without looking foolish, "that was a pretty impressive Pidgey. How long have you had it?" 

"Oh, I've had Pidgey for a couple of years," Claire responded. "It hasn't evolved, and it isn't very powerful, though. It's basically just a pet. How many Pokémon do you guys have?" 

Ash heard the word Pokémon and recognized his favorite topic, aside from food. He struggled to swallow his food quickly so he could talk, because his mother always told him not to talk with his mouth full. 

"Oh," Ash said as he gulped some milk to keep himself from choking, "I've got all kinds. Besides Pikachu, I've got the Bulbasaur you saw, several Tauros, Chikorita, Cyndaquil, Totodile, Heracross, Muk, Snorlax, Kingler, Noctowl, and a bunch of others. I used to have Butterfree, Lapras, Pidgeot, Charizard, Squirtle, and Primeape, but I let them go." Ash tried to hide a bit of sorrow by stuffing another spoonful of chili into his mouth. 

"What about you, Misty?" Claire asked. 

Misty thought for a moment. "Besides Togepi, I've got Staryu, Poliwhirl, Goldeen, and-!" Misty was cut off mid-sentence by Psyduck emerging from its Pokéball and looking up at her with a confused expression on its face. 

"And Psyduck." Misty finished. "Psyduck, get back in your Pokéball!" She called Psyduck back, who said simply "Psy?" before returning to its Pokéball with a flash of red light. 

"And you, Brock?" Claire asked, hoping Brock wouldn't embarass her (or himself) with another display of affection. 

"Me?" Brock asked. "I've got Pineco, Geodude, Onix, Vulpix, and Zubat. I used to be the Pewter City gym leader, and I used ground types. Since I've started travelling, I've gotten Zubat, Vulpix, and Pineco." 

"And I'm from the Cerulean City gym," Misty said. "That's why I've got lots of water types. Except for Togepi, that is." 

"TogePRRIII!" Togepi cooed. 

"Was it difficult to catch all of those different Pokémon, Ash?" Claire asked. 

"Sometimes," Ash said as he gulped down another mouthful of chili. "Some of them put up quite a fight." 

"I've never caught a Pokémon before," Claire said. "Pidgey was a gift." 

"You should come along with us," Ash stated. "We run into all kinds of new Pokémon." 

"I've often thought of going on a Pokémon journey before, and maybe even competing in the Pokémon League or the Johto League." Claire said. "What do you think, mom?" 

"Whatever makes you happy, dear," Amanda said. 

"It's just that..." Claire began. "Well, like Roger said, I'm not very good at Pokémon battling. I've never won a battle before." 

"How many battles have you fought?" Misty asked. 

"Uhhh, I dunno," Claire said. "Four or five." 

"Oh, you probably just need more practice," Ash said. "After dinner I'll give you a rematch if you want. Pidgey should be rested up by then." 

"Yeah," Misty agreed. "Ash lost way more battles than that before he finally started winning." 

"No I didn't!" Ash shouted at Misty. "Stop exaggerating!" 

"Pi pika chu." Pikachu mumbled as it continued eating. 

After dinner, Ash, Misty, Brock, and Claire gathered in the yard to carry out their rematch. 

"Pidgey," Claire called as she tossed Pidgey's Pokéball. "Go!" 

Ash reached for one of his Pokéballs. "Cyndaquil, I choose you!" he called as he tossed the red and white ball. 

"Quil quil!" Cyndaquil cried as it emerged and started the flames on its back. 

"C'mon, Pidgey, don't hold back this time!" Claire encouraged Pidgey. "Give it everything you've got. Gust attack!" 

"Pidgey!" Pidgey squawked as it stopped in the air and flapped its wings rapidly to produce currents of air. Cyndaquil was pushed back a few feet, but it held on. 

"Cyndaquil, use your Flamethrower attack!" Ash commanded. 

"Cyndaquil!" Cyndaquil said as flames erupted on its back. It shot forth a stream of fire, hitting Pidgey in the chest and bringing it to the ground. Pidgey tried to stand, but then fell back over, exhausted. 

"Pidgey, return." Claire commanded, aware of her defeat. Pidgey returned to it's Pokéball and Claire replaced it on her belt. "See? I told you, Pidgey's just not very strong." 

"I guess it just needs more experience," Ash said with a smile. "Don't worry about it." He looked at Cyndaquil. "Good job, Cyndaquil. Return." Cyndaquil returned to its Pokéball with a "Quil!" 

"Pikachu! Pi pika!" Pikachu exclaimed as it rushed to some nearby bushes. 

"What is it, Pikachu?" Ash said as he ran beside Pikachu. 

"Pi pika pi!" Pikachu shouted excitedly. 

Ash pushed away the bushes to expose a Rattata, who was backed up against a tree. 

"Hey, guys, check this out!" Ash said as Misty, Brock, and Claire came running. He pulled Dexter, his Pokédex, from his pocket and pointed it at Rattata. 

"Rattata-the-mouse-Pokémon," Dexter began. "It-bites-anything-when-it-attacks-and-is-a-common-site-in-many-places." 

"Claire," Ash said quietly, trying not to frighten Rattata anymore than it already was. "This is a good chance for you to catch a Pokémon. Give it a try." 

"But my Pidgey doesn't have enough energy to battle again," Claire said. "Why don't you try to catch it?" 

"Well," Ash replied, "Rattata isn't that good of a Pokémon." 

"Ash!" Misty shouted. 

"Besides," Ash continued. "This is a perfect chance to try your skill at it. You'll never know unless you try." 

"Well," Claire thought a moment. "I guess it couldn't hurt." She grabbed the Pokéball on her belt. "Pidgey, go!" 

Pidgey emerged standing on the ground. It was conscious but still quite winded. The Rattata hissed and backed away a few inches, until it was pressed against the tree. 

"C'mon, Pidgey!" Claire urged her Pokémon. "I want to catch that Rattata! You can do it, I know it. I believe in you." 

"Pidgey!" Pidgey cooed as a steely look appeared in its eyes. 

"That's it!" Claire said excitedly. "Now, use your Quick Attack!" 

Pidgey did as it was told and flew by Rattata with amazing speed, clipping Rattata with its beak in the process. Rattata fell back, but it was up on its feet in no time, bearing its fangs. It quickly dashed at Pidgey and rammed it with its Tackle attack, knocking Pidgey backward a few inches. 

"Oh no," Claire said. "Maybe this was a bad idea. Pidgey can't take much more of this." 

"Keep trying, Claire," Brock said reassuringly. "I believe in you." 

"Right!" Claire said. She realized Brock didn't know her very well, but the vote of confidence was still nice. "Pidgey, use your Sand Attack!" 

Pidgey flew back and flapped furiously as sand surrounded the Rattata. It coughed a bit and closed its eyes to avoid being blinded by sand. 

"Now!" Ash shouted. "Knock it out!" 

"Pidgey," Claire commanded. "Use your Quick Attack one more time!" 

"Pidgey!" Pidgey cried as it flew at Rattata. Rattata jumped back and readied its own attack, Hyper Fang. 

"Uh-oh," Ash said. "It's going to use Hyper Fang." 

Pidgey flew by Rattata and fell into the dust, knocked out by Rattata's Hyper Fang. Claire's heart jumped as Rattata looked back at Pidgey, before finally falling over itself, not being able to withstand Pidgey's Quick Attack. 

"Now, Claire!" Ash shouted. "Use a Pokéball!" 

"Uhhh..." Claire muttered with uncertainty. "I don't have one!" 

"Hmmm," Ash thought for a moment. "That's not going to work. Here, use one of mine." He reached into his pocket and produced an empty Pokéball and pitched it to Claire. 

"Thanks!" Claire said. "Here goes nothing. Pokéball, go!" She tossed the Pokéball which captured Rattata and blinked for a few moments. Claire watched anxiously, before the Pokéball finally stopped blinking. 

"Is that good?" Claire asked. 

"You caught it!" Ash shouted excitedly. 

"Yeah!" Claire shouted jubilantly as she picked up the Pokéball. "I caught Rattata!" 

"Great job!" Ash said. 

"Pi pika chu!" Pikachu said, echoing Ash's sentiments. 

"Yay! Thanks so much!" Claire said, giving Ash a hug. 

"Nooo!" Brock howled dejectedly. "Why couldn't it have been me?!" 

"And last but not least," Claire said as she knelt down and picked Pidgey up. "Thank you, Pidgey! I couldn't have done it without you." 

"Pidgey pidgeo," Pidgey cooed weakly. 

"Here, have a rest in your Pokéball," Claire said as she called Pidgey back and replaced its Pokéball on her belt. She then looked at Rattata's Pokéball in her hand. 

"I caught Rattata!" Claire announced jubilantly and assumed an Ash-like victory stance. 

* * * * *

The next morning, Claire came running up the road after Ash, Brock, and Misty, who had left a few minutes earlier, with Ash as determined as ever to win more badges and battle in the Johto League. 

"Hey, Claire," Ash said as he turned around after hearing Claire call his name. "What is it?" 

"I just wanted to thank you once again for helping me, Ash" Claire said. "I've decided to go on my own Pokémon journey. I know I'm not very good right now, but I'm determined to get better." 

"Are you coming with us, then?" Brock asked hopefully. 

"No," Claire replied. "I've decided to go out on my own. Besides, I wouldn't want to get in your way." 

"Well, good luck," Ash said. "Maybe we'll see each other in the Johto League or the Pokémon League." 

"Maybe," Claire said. "And I'll be a lot better by then, too. See you guys around." 

"Bye!" Ash shouted as he walked away with Brock and Misty. 

"See you later," Misty said, waving. 

"I'll never forget you as long as I live!" Brock pledged, eventually being dragged away by Misty yet again. 

"Bye, you guys," Claire said as she walked away in the other direction to pack some things, and somehow explain things to her mother.


End file.
